Standing Here

I’m frozen while standing here
At this lonely curb that everyone hates
My hands are shoved deep in my pockets–
I’ll shuffle my feet and grunt and groan,
But I’m still here and still stuck

I see others pass me by
Some are in the slow lane
The rest are speeding ahead
There are no tickets given to the confident
Inside we are the same though,
Unsure, unfaithful, unused
Our plastic faces are sore from smiling

Here comes the first one that I knew
He walks with confidence and purpose
We’ve come a long way from Play Group
His future is set by his own determination
He’s found companions in his passion
Our similarities are guided by the past-
Inside jokes, ridiculousness, memories
Is this what holds us together?
Will the glue deteriorate?

There’s the one who I thought was true
We laughed and joked and had fun
Then I found out how much he cared
Now he walks and does not look at me
His steps are sloppy, all over
Where is he going?
Even though I should care, I don’t
I lie to myself and say that I’m not angry
There’s no bitterness in my head
Make sure you look both ways before crossing

I see someone across the street
He hides behind lamps, cans, other walkers
Is he afraid of what I’ll think?
I see frustration, pain, shame in his eyes
Is he shutting me out from his walk and life?
Am I not trying hard enough?
He’s lived through more turmoil than I ever have
I won’t understand everything he’s going through
We cannot relate on our levels of life
He might be running away,
But I can’t stop him

Then there’s the man who stood by me
We’ve grown closer as we take this trek slow
We’ve both learned the danger of distractions
This road isn’t so lonely when we run
He’s walking away from worlds and eyes
Now I see him growing inch by inch
My mind tells me he’s inching away
I don’t know what to think, throw, thank-
Will he remember me?

Thousands of people are running around,
Hands clamped around their ears and eyes
They don’t want to hear, see, or live
Inside they’re hurt, misguided, and warped-
Until they can’t fit anywhere
Lost with nowhere to go

My fortune is a hidden one
I can help a select few in their long walk
These people have been placed in my life
Regardless of how they treat me
I can be the light on their dark street
And while I am standing here,
There is more than just companionship
I can reach for deep, true friendships